


Addicted to Your Sweetness

by a_pathetic0524



Series: あの日、あの場所 、あの話 [1]
Category: ONE OK ROCK
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Amateur Work, Broken english, Check Chapter 6 For Links, Chinese version available, Completed, Cross-Posted on Lofter, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Drama & Romance, Established Relationship, Headcanon, M/M, My First Fanfic, My First Work in This Fandom, Taka being shouganai period
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-28 12:20:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10100507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_pathetic0524/pseuds/a_pathetic0524
Summary: [COMPLETED | TORUKA]"Now, look at me, talk to me, smile at me.""Only me, Toru-san."Update: For links to Chinese Version on Lofter. See Chapter 6.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in English, in the fandom and in AO3 itself. English also isn't my first language. 
> 
> I dedicated this work to my wife. Special thanks to her and Desa for helping me in grammar, beside being betas. Super special thanks to Eri, because without her, I will lose this work forever. And a lot of thanks for the beta readers : Rin (multi-chapters was her idea), Steph, and Kuma.
> 
> Title : ROSE BLOOD by ONE OK ROCK
> 
> * * *
> 
> _This work is also published under the same title and pseuds (username) : http://my.w.tt/UiNb/5314nVC3OC on May, 2nd 2017._

Don't look at her.

Don't listen to her voice.

Don't smile at her.

 

_Don't._

 

"Taka-san are you okay?," a soft voice of a girl made him jumped. "Yes, what?" His attention turned away from the back of one guy to the owner of the voice. Taka suddenly realized what happened and why a girl was in front of him. "Uh.." He scratched his ear, "..sorry." 

Right, he was in the middle of talking with a fan, among fans who circled around him, waiting for their turn to interact with him. 

Taka took a little look at the girl. Looked young, probably a teen. Her eyebrows, as black as her shoulder-lenght hair, frowned, and those brown irises looked straight to him, just like she questioned something to him. Though, she then smiled widely. "Please sign my cd," her voice sounded happy.

"Okay." Taka reached a marker the fangirl gave him, and slowly made a usual stroke that will be valuable for those who were a fan of him (them actually, a band named ONE OK ROCK), on the red and black covered cd; not their new-released one. "Done," Taka curved his lips. "Thank you!," she cried a little as she accepted back the cd Taka signed. Taka patted her head twice before she go away.

Taka sighed. His smile faded away when he gave back his attention to a blond guy. Yamashita Toru, the leader and guitarist in the band he was in as a vocalist. The guy looked busy, talked with an Asian girl, he guessed a Japanese. It has been two fans for him and Toru still only interacted wih her.

"Um, Taka-san." Another girl came around. Blonde, pale skin, blue eyes. The usual descriptions people would have when you talked about 'American girl'. Different from the teenage girl previously. Probably this girl is older than the previous girl. And it wasn't weird to have overseas fans, since they were in US right now.

Yeah, they was currently on their North American Tour right now. In the name of their new released album, 'Ambitions'. Today was one of the date, rehearsal going to be in an hour, followed by meet and greet and then the performance. The stupid him was the one who have the idea to greet their fans who have been lining up though still hours to go before the door open. Toru was the only one with him since Tomoya and Ryota went somewhere to smoke.

He regretted it, indeed.

"Toru..." Because again, he still found the guitarist interacted with the same girl.

Dammit.

Taka bit the inside of his bottom lip. His eyes fell back into the blond; Toru dyed his black-red or red-black, whatever, hair back to blond. Taka frowned, he felt his chest full, when he saw the guy who is usually giving a what he called cool-guy smile, now smiling from cheek to cheek and even laughing. What the fuck? What was so funny? 

Both of them were just a few steps away, if they kept aside the horde of fans around them. Taka could see how Toru's eyes, which usually looked like the owner was ready to sleep, sparkled. As if the owner found something that interested him. 

Taka narrowed his eyes. He brought his attention now to the fan in front of Toru.

What's good about that woman?

A Japanese, okay. Long black-hair, round face, okay. Bushy fake eyelashes. Those eyes looked bigger, but Taka swore, that must be because the girl wore that earth-sized soft-lenses. Moved below, this girl had full pink colored lips and then, the important part, her tits. Also thanks to her bad tastes, low-neck dress plus cardigan (for winter wears, really?), her cleavage was exposed. It looked big but the real one must be flat A; thanks to whoever invented push-up bra. 

What was so good about that woman, Toru-san? What was so good that you smiled a lot when you talked to her?

 

Don't look at her. 

Don't talk to her. 

Don't smile at her.

 

"Taka-kun..?"

"Sorry." Taka sighed, a smile again growing on his face. The girl asked him to take picture together. Which he agreed at. He stepped to the side of her, his right arm to her waist, left finger made a rock sign. His eyes should be directed to the camera lense, but he couldn't. He couldn't when all in his focus was Toru. His thought went all over the bad things, a question after question jumped here and there inside his head. What if this, what if that.

He done with this girl. Done with the fans. He wasn't even answered her thanks. He just walked away. Passed the fans whom, like they understood, made a way for him. He smiled, waved, nodded; the usual celebrities service for their fans. However no, he didn't cared about their fans. He didn't cared about anything now.There was, only a thing he cared about :

"Toru-san.." 

Only a guy who's probably the last one people thought he'd date.

Yeah, they _are_ lovers.

Taka reached Toru's right arm, slowly caressing down the long arm of a black coat the blond wore. He wrapped his slim fingers around Toru's wrist. His full lips carved a smile to his face, more genuine than the one he always gave to anyone other than his parents and grandma. The pair of dark irises reflected the face that most of the time remained expressionless. 'Gachapin' people nicknamed the leader and guitarist of the band he was in. Since, Toru and that dinosaur-based character, who was until recently he thought it was a frog, resembled each other.

"What happened, Taka?," A cloud of white smokes danced into the air when Toru asked him in their mother tongue. "Is there something wrong?," The blond smiled.

Taka's heart pounded fast. He breathed heavily, tried hard to control his temper. Because he couldn't just scream at the girl and tell her Toru was his, right?

"I am just curious with what you two talked about." Taka forced himself to chuckle, a way to make sure noone knew how he felt inside. "It seems interesting." Taka released Toru's wrist and moved closer to the fan, arm to her shoulder. He glanced to the girl before he moved his focus to the face of a man he'd never give to anyone. Taka smiled. "Tell me about it," he said in a cheerful way, as he pulled the girl closer to him, her shoulder met his chest.

.

.

Now that I am also in front of you, why don't you look at me, Toru-san? Talk to me. Smile at me. Only me.

 

Your only one.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toru's hair during North American Tour 2017 wasn't really blond. But to make it easier I decided to use blond for Toruge-niichan's hair color.
> 
> Enjoy! And thank you for reading!

The rehearsal for today's show was finished.

"Thank you," Taka gave his microphone to his staff. "Meet and greet will be in 30 minutes." He nodded. Probably he will go to the bathroom before waiting in the dressing room until the staff called them to be prepared for today's gig's meet and greet. Today was  their third date of ONE OK ROCK's North American tour this year. For their new album, Ambitions that was released on 11th in Japan and 13th world wide. The Vic in Chicago, Illinois was their venue for today after yesterday in Toronto, Canada.

He looked away from the staff and looked around. Tomoya was busy talking with their sound engineer, judging from the smile their drummer had, it looked like they wasn't talking about something related to work. Something casual, probably Tomoya asked for a good meat-related restaurant around the venue, since today, his girlfriend was here. "Mori-chan, I will go first to the dressing room." Ryota patted his shoulder before went first toward the backstage. A big smile their bassist wore clearly telling everyone that he was happy. Surely, since Ryota was married two days ago, a day before their Toronto's gig. The lucky woman was no other than their guitarist's idol, the Canadian's big star, Avril Lavigne's sister, Michelle. Surprising, huh?

He knew many of their fans and people around them will be surprised on the day they announced Ryota and Michelle's marriage. Taka was sure, though surprising at first, their marriage will be accepted by everyone. It will be different if it was Toru and his. Not talking about what happened during new year's eve and how his friend was attacked on instagram, because their fans thought they were dating. He was, of course, talking about the fact that Toru and him wasn't dating anyone but each other.

Toru is his boyfriend. He is Toru's boyfriend. 

It was that simple.

Nothing sounded wrong if they wasn't Japanese surrounded by its culture. Like Tyler and his boyfriend, people supported them, they could fucking showoff on instagram. Like, dammit, he wanted to do it too! Posted picture of Toru and him kissing. He couldn't even showoff his candid of Toru anymore.

"Toru-san.." He called his boyfriend as he approached. It seemed Toru and his roadie was discussing something important about one of Toru's guitar. Was there something wrong? Toru used it for their last song, though he heard nothing off, probably it was different for the guitarist. "What it is?," Toru not looked at him and even continued talking to his roadie. Taka frowned, he wanted to say something but he swallowed it back. "..Uh.. nothing.." Taka bit his lip, "I only.. wanted to tell you.. I am going to the bathroom first...." "Okay." And Toru still not looked at him, not even a glance.

He stood there for a moment. Looked straightly to his boyfriend that so focused in whatever he talked with the roadie. Taka sighed, he clicked his heels and walked  toward the backstage. Toru was still mad at him. And  didn't even bother to look at him just now.

Sigh.

Taka walked pass the corridor and stopped in front of male bathroom. It wasn't far from the stage nor the dressing room. He opened the door and go through. The light was dim and there are two toilet cabins also two urinals. This bathroom was prepared only for them, their guest, and some other important persons related to them. For now, it was only him inside. He walked toward the sink table. Nothing luxurious about it, the usual bowl shapes, only it was black, like the bathroom's floor and half the wall. 

There was an oval mirror above the sink. One that reflected a Japanese man standing in front of it. He had a small build, supple―a bit drowned in his maroon outer shirt and short enough that he was only reflected until above his stomach as the sink and the mirror was positioned high enough for his standards. Since Americans are mostly tall. At least taller than him. His face wasn't defined his gonna be 29 this April age. Most people, especially Americans, thought he was underage. He went to a minimarket yesterday and the cashier refused to process his purchase of cans of beer until after he showed his passport. The cashier's look of disbelief was a little bit funny, luckily he finally could purchase his boozes! And when he went out for a date with Toru some months ago, a grandma thought Toru was his dad. That night he purposely called Toru 'daddy', as a joke, during sex and that Gachapin stopped kissing him and went to sleep after giving him another emotionless long stare. No sex for that night.

Uh, that guy, seriously.

Taka reached for the faucet and rotated it left, letting out a flow of water. He placed his palms under the faucet to retain the falling water before he washed his face. Twice. He combed his short raven hair with his  slender fingers down to his nape and looked up to the mirror again. Drops of water dripped from the tip of his long, beautiful, thick and tapering eyelashes. Taka touched his cheeks and caressed it down until he could see a few moles that perfected his face. His fingers traced his wet full lips. He could still feel the warmth of Toru's kiss last night, the one they had before they went to sleep.

Toru haven't kiss him today.

They didn't have their morning kiss either. Guess, Toru wouldn't gave him before the show one too.

Toru was angry at him. Because of what happened this morning. They went to greet their fans who was already queueing even though meet and greet was still hours to go. He wanted to respect them by giving a moment to chat with them and Toru agreed with him. That was until that fucking girl came and Toru looked interested in her. After he approached them and asked what they was talking about, Toru only told him he won't understand and the girl smiled shyly. Like, what the fuck? Since he was jealous, he wanted Toru to feel what he felt. He hugged that girl, caressed her shoulder, and tried to sweet-mouthing her. And slowly he could tell Toru wasn't amused with it. The guitarist wasn't smiling anymore and the next moment he knew, Toru wasn't even looking at him and leaving them. 

"Shit."

He remembered what was happened after.

 

* * *

 

"Did you do it on purpose?" 

Toru's voice was tensed. It sounded like the owner holding off his overflowed emotions. Taka placed his phone down to the dressing table. Inside the room there was only the two of them. The others went first to the stage they will be performed at tonight, to show it to each of their own wife and girlfriend before rehearsal. He looked at his boyfriend who sat on the sofa behind his chair. Toru looked as tensed as he sounded, his jaw clenched and his eyes gleamed in dejection.

"No," Taka shrugged, "I wanted to join the fun, that's all." If what you meant was why he bothered your oh-so-fun chat with her. His logic wasn't at its best as he was still under the jealousy's spell. He stared at his boyfriend. Without even waiting for what the blond gonna said, he continued, "Was I bothering you?" Toru only glared at him and no words was spoken by the guitarist. Taka let out small laughs, "Did you jealous because I touched her? But eh, wasn't I always like that, did you forget that?" Seconds of silence accompanied them exchanging look into each other's eyes.

The blond leaned forward. Those pair of sleepy confined dark irises scanned him, leaving uncomfortable feeling to his shoulder. He felt heavy. Taka turned his back at his boyfriend. He then reached for his phone and played with it, scrolled down his instagram's timeline to find something interesting from his friends or looked aimlessly at random search. He found some pictures and videos of dogs, even a rabbit eating strawberry. But his attention wasn't on his phone's screen, it was to Toru.

"Rehearsal in 5 minutes."

Taka jumped as a staff broke down the silence between him and Toru. After a nod he was left alone with the guitarist and leader of their band behind the closed door, again. The silence filled the room they was in. He started to suffocate. The fact Toru wasn't saying anything made his mind full of bad thoughts and guesses. Rustling sound made him turned his face toward Toru. The blond was stood up from his sofa, his expressionless face still looked tensed and stern as before, probably more. That was the moment Taka slowly realized Toru was unusually angry. He placed his phone on the dressing table as the blond walked toward him―no, the tableーto grab his pack of cigarettes and lighter without saying anything. 

"Toru-san...?" Taka murmured, as he saw Toru walked away toward the door. He couldn't take his eyes off his lover's back. Toru paused in front of now opened door, he sighed and glanced at him. For reasons, Taka could hear his own fast beating pulse.

"You did it because you don't believe in me, didn't you?"

Before everything turned quiet again after the slammed door.

For a moment Taka was stunned. His pupils dilated. "Toru-san..?" He hasn't even done processing what Toru said. Taka stood up, he ran toward the door, opened it and tried to find his lover. Though when he found him, he chose not to approach Toru who was now busy talking with the staff. Guilty surrounded him. A staff came closer to him and told him it was time to go to the stage for rehearsal. But he wasn't responded to it, as inside he realized: he made a big mistake.

He hurted Toru.

 

* * *

 

He could feel the corner of his eyes warmth yet wet. "Ah, shit." Taka wiped his face with the back of his left arm and then leaned down to the sink table. Rested his right arm on it and scratched the back of his head using the left. "Why are you so stupid Takahiro?" He understood, he acted childish and too much today. Especially when he touched that girl like that so Toru would be jealous like he felt. Okay, Toru was jealous, he was happy with the fact. But in the same moment, he hurted Toru too. The last people he wanted to hurt alongside his parents. 

However, inside he was dying with these feelings. He wanted everything about Toru only for him. Like an egoistic kid that never wanted to share what he liked. He was preoccupied by those feelings. Would Toru found him annoying like that? If he told the guitarist what he felt? He sighed. Taka reached the faucet and rotated it to stop the flowing water. He looked at the reflection of himself for a moment before moved toward the door. After this, after they finished today's meet and greet, before they performed, he would apologize to Toru. 

 

He would and he should.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks for you who read this and my wife for helping me did this, for ideas, beta and grammar even wording. And if you are interested in Masato (coldrain) x MAH (SiM), I wrote weird oneshot for them too. (＾▽＾)
> 
> Quote for the day : "Uke is never wrong." - My wife, Sou.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the rating.
> 
> This was the hardest one to write if I compared it with the other two chapters and oneshot I made previously. Especially for how to cut the chapter this time. It also took two days to draft, usually I done it in a night.
> 
> Special thanks for my wife, Sou, she helped me a lot in this to decide the chapter ending.
> 
> Enjoy! Two more chapters! (I hope everything will be as planned)

The dressing room was no longer as messy as previously. With empty bottles, cans and food wrappers scattered all over the tables alongside all the other things. What was left was only their ready to be picked up bags. As they were going to left the venue. Today's gig was finished since some hours ago. They was also done chatting and taking picture with their opening guest or their acquaintances that were really kind for sparing their time to watch tonight's performance of ONE OK ROCK. He really grateful with that as much as he was toward their fans who came today and made today felt better.

The frontman thud his shoulders as he wore his grey cloth jacket. Then he zipped it up to his chest and pushed each side of the jacket's arms to his elbows. He reached for his cap at the dressing table and wore it. On that room, there was only the newlyweds and him. Ryota was busy talking with his wife. The look on their faces that was reflected on the mirror in front of him was really beautiful with happiness, even their fingers kept intertwined as if they were going to lose each other if they released it.

Seeing them brought a smile to his face. He remember how devastated Ryota during the beginning of last year when the bassist's then-girlfriend decided to broke their two years of relationship. Being heartbroken, their bassist even fell sick during their tour. Good thing, the fact they met Avril Lavigne, who was forgotten about them despite they once met in an interview, brought not only a collaboration between ONE OK ROCK and the famous singer, but also Michelle for Ryota's heart. Believe it or not Michelle could speak a few Japanese that helped their affection to grow. On December last year, Ryota told them he wanted to be more serious with Michelle, as he felt Michelle was the right person for him. Despite the surprise and opinions from them at first, they finally told the youngest member of their band to do it. They also helped when Ryota proposed to Michelle. Nothing wacky or crazy, only to be sure Ryota wouldn't be nervous when he did it.

"I am off to the bus." 

Taka picked his rucksack up and toted it. He glanced at the newlyweds. "The aura here is too pink," he chuckled, "don't be too long or we'll leave you." Michelle flushed while her husband waved his right hand and told him to not worry about that. "See you later on the bus," he said before walked toward the door. "Oh, Mori-chan! Wait!" Ryota's call made him paused in the door way and looked back. "Toru told me he went to smoke, in case you don't find him." Taka stood there for a few seconds. It looked like he was stared straight at Ryota but his mind actually was gone to other place. He squeezed the door knob. Took a deep breathe and exhaled it slowly before he drew a faint smile on to his face.

"Thanks."

Ryota probably had realized that Toru and him had a fight.

After what happened this morning and before rehearsal, they didn't talked much beside if it was needed. He was also didn't get a time to talk to Toru about what happened and apologize because Toru had a problem with one of his guitar and it took over his attention. He waited, but the right moment didn't came. So, he thought, he will talked about it tomorrow morning when they have rested. Moreover they will stay at his house after they arrived in Los Angeles. The situation and the environment will made it better, also two days off too from tomorrow. 

He was also tried to behave during meet and greet when he found out that girl was there too. Even when Toru tenderly looked at her and have his arm on her shoulder when they took picture. He wasn't okay with that, but he tried to not acted out of jealousy like he was this morning. Because he didn't want what already happened went worst than now. 

After all, he believe in Toru.

Taka stepped outside the venue. He was greeted by the lively atmosphere despite midnight has passed. Though some stores has closed, some places like cafés  and restaurants still has their light on. People can still be seen in and out of that place and even he could faintly smell the food through the air. Their staff also still busy moved their equipment to their bus which was now parked outside the venue's garage across the street. He peered around, his eyes fell to a group of people on his right side, from safe distance, they waved to him and called his name. Whether in Japan or overseas, fans sometimes waited for them after the gig. He smiled and waved back, "Thank you for coming! See you again!", then shouted back to them in English. There was still a heavy Japanese accent on his words, however, not as thick as four years ago when they first started world tour. His English also gotten better, he was happy with that.

And four years ago.

Four years ago Toru and him started dating.

It was during their first nationwide arena tour. Osaka; first day. They was finished with their gig that day and was ready to left for hotel. Toru approached him, asked him for a moment to talk about something serious. He thought, at first, Toru wanted to ask for help to surprise his parents or something since his family will watch their second day of Osaka's live. But it wasn't. That time they were standing in the empty corridor. Face to face. The air changed. Toru looked stern as fuck, and then he thought, he probably made a mistake. Though, that stern face was different with when Toru wasn't amused. Before he could made another guess, Toru held both of his hands. It felt warm―Toru's sweaty palms was. Then he found himself with his heart pounded fast and the corner of his cheeks felt hot. As if Tomoya whopped his chest like it was a drum, while Ryota pasted two meat buns to his cheeks.

There was a good seconds of silence before Toru opened his mouth and said: 'I like―', although before the guitarist finished his words as if he found something wasn't right, he shook his head and cleared his throat.

'I love you, let's date.'

It was a straight ball.

There was no blabbering of reasons or statements. Not even a talk about their genders. Nothing. Toru was like on their first meeting, spoke directly with no ramble. The guitarist's expressionless face wasn't any help. Left him in shock and confusion that made him kept quite. It forced Toru to said it for a second time then told him to pick an answer. Yes or no. That was all. Everything gone so slow and then so fast. He gave Toru nods followed by a yes and an okay. And the next second he knew, he was inside Toru's arms. There was no question given to him. As if the man already knew what he felt toward him. Yeah, he liked Toru for 6 months before Toru asked him to go out. And like that time he believed in Toru that the man wouldn't play him, it was the same as now he believed Toru wouldn't cheat at him.

Taka bit the inside of his bottom lip. In front of a closed store and sheltered by the shadow of the tour bus that was parked not too far from them; they was there. The dim light of the street lamp gently illuminated the blond strands that drew a contrast with its surrounding. The owner stood there along with the girl from this morning. He hardly saw their faces, but he could catch the glimpse of Toru's smile―laugh after the smokes. He clenched his fingers and gritted his teeth. He breathed heavily as his heart beat faster. He started to felt dizzy. There was something that nearly exploded inside him.

But, no, he believed in Toru. He always believed in Toru since the first time they met. Since the first time Toru made him listened to how instruments are played by people that tried hard to convinced their music to the listeners. To feel what they felt. The first time Toru made him realized he wasn't hated by everyone around him as he thought. The first time he felt wanted.

It was him. It was him that he didn't believe in. Because he wasn't good enough. He was the worst among the worst; good for nothing beside singing. And Toru's sweetness slowly made him addicted. Made him greedy and needy. The fact they are lovers made him forgot about the boundaries they still needed. He wanted Toru to only see him, talk to him, smile to him. 

_Only him._

"Taka! Ooi Taka!"

"Tomoya?"

"What are you doing? Standing there and not even blinking! I called you for many times too! What are you seeing? Evil woman?"

"Yeah."

"What?! There's a spirit in America?! Where?"

"Shut up."

"Ouch! It hurts!"

"Meat skewers?"

"Yeah, I bought it for us. My girlfriend not with me though, she was in―Ouch!"

"Don't care, give me one."

Taka took one skewer from inside the paper bag their drummer hugged. There was a lot of them, he didn't counted it but Tomoya might be bought it for all the staffs and them. What a good person. He bit the meat on the tip of the skewer, chewed it fast and swallowed it. This meat skewer should be the tastiest one as Tomoya passionately described. Slightly chewy and burned but sweet and savory, like the west met east or whatever. He landed his slap on the back of their drummer turned food vlogger's head for the third times. "Shut up! It's good, but your noisy mouth made it not tasty anymore!" He snorted. Then walked away crossing the street, leaving behind their drummer who was writhed in pain.

Toru was already there inside the bus. Chatted with Tomoya's girlfriend. From the back, he could hear Tomoya shouted that the drummer bought them meat. For seconds Toru's eyes met his eyes. "Excuse me..." Taka tried to walk pass them only to have Toru made him stopped when the blond placed his hand on his shoulder. He startled, when he felt the tip of Toru's thumb touched the corner of his lips. He could smell the vague scent of tobacco left on his boyfriend's thumb. Slowly he raised his head. Toru's expression was no longer as stern as before. There was no smile on his face, but he knew Toru wasn't mad any longer to him.

"Sauce." The soft baritone's voice vibrated his tympanic as the owner caressed his lips. Toru's fingers felt a bit cold, probably because he was smoking outside on January's weather. However the small touch Toru gave to him, made his chest warmth. Made him forgot about what was he saw outside some moments ago. Between Toru and the girl.

Taka lowered his head, hiding behind the cap he wore. He could feel his eyes started cloudy. He raised the meat skewer in front of him, meat touching his lips. "I am sorry..." He murmured hoarsely. Toru's palm landed softly on his head. Gently his boyfriend patted him twice. "The meat is not tasty." Again he murmured, this time his lips was curved.

Toru was so kind.

Although he hurted him many times, Toru was always the one who would breaking the ice and forgave him first. When he stood with his ego, it was always Toru who ended up gave in. In fact it made him more scared. Scared that Toru would be tired and left him in the end. Wouldn't care about him anymore; leaving him with the addiction to the point of no return. 

If the same thing was repeated, as he was again trapped inside the insecurities he had.

If everything wouldn't ended in a good way.

And―

 

* * *

 

"What does these means, Toru-san?" 

 

―if it happened sooner than he wished for...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter probably will take longer-or not. But not going to be more than a week after this posted. I want to write something else first but let's see. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and the kudos. It was meant a lot for me, since I can't English well and this is my first seriously written fic ever (chaptered also). 
> 
> My wife also said my grammar was better in this one. Hope so. English is so tiring, I wanna cry.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised it will be posted no more than a week, however, in the end I caught blank-page syndrome. This chapter, I worked the draft thrice until I satisfied with it. XD
> 
> Reminder : I tagged this work with headcanon.
> 
>  
> 
> Betas :
> 
> \- My wife, Sou : Grammar, ideas to change how this chapter opened and ended, and how to make some words had more impact.  
> \- Eri (@crying_koala2610) : Typos and Grammar.  
> \- Julia : If you found this chapter wasn't as stiff as the other chapters and looked beautiful, it was thanks to her, she fixed and rephrashed my wordings, really, seriously, heavily. 
> 
> Super thanks to all of you. 
> 
> And to you who read this, thanks and enjoy!

"What does these means, Toru-san?"  
  
Taka asked the same question again. His voice trembled as he tried to control his emotions—which he was never good at. They were standing in the entrance corridor of his house in Los Angeles. In mere hours they had to leave for their next gig's venue, Hollywood Palladium. They should rest their bodies like the others did, but no, look at them. Toru had just stepped inside the house he wanted Toru to own someday too. The guitarist's face looked tired with his sleepy eyes hardly open and his cheeks downcast. The way his boyfriend pinched the bridge of his nose was another sign of how tired he was and probably drunk, but still sober enough to drive home.  
  
_'Don't meet her'_ , the same words echoed again and again inside his head after Toru told him where he would go after visiting the garage of vintage cars. No matter how much he tried to talk with the others, his mind flew to his boyfriend. Inside, he screamed with hopes of something happening so that Toru would just come home and cancel his plan to visit Daniel Rudd's house. Because Taka was sure Daniel's sister will be there too; and nothing good would ever happen when that woman was there. Ever. Yet again, he fell under the spell of jealousy and insecurities. Maggots gnawed at him from within; leaving a huge invisible hole on his chest—it pained him, when he never likes pain.  
  
Taka handed over his phone as Toru streched his hand out to reach for it. 2:15 a.m shown on the phone he held unsteadily. Slowly Taka let out a small breath from his mouth. The pounding of his heart grew till he could hear his own pulse beating. Toru focused on his phone, his thumb hoovered on the screen. He hoped Toru would understand what he felt when he looked at those pictures that made him loose control of his temper. Like now.  
  
"See it?" Taka chuckled. "Did she let you to see those posts? See the captions?" He curled his lips.  
  
Being a male that is a lover for another male was hard. Easy, if they didn't live under the culture which saw same-sex relationships as something taboo—as a phase or at worst a joke. It was a culture that can't be helped, Ivan always told him. Yet, they were no different with male-female couples. Two consenting adults, no blood relations, that fell in love, only they were both males and then suddenly it becomes a sin. Beginning from last year, with the fact they would be releasing international albums, their manager told him to tone down what he did on his own instagram. He needed to stop posting Toru's pictures and videos, fans may get curious and would realise their relationship. And that was not good.  
  
Scrolling down under Toru's hashtag after that woman posted her picture together with Toru, his lover, the maggots gnawed him even harder. Comments like Toru and her were cute together was here and there. What about with Toru and him? Will they make a cute couple together as those comments said to the pictures of her and Toru? No. What he and Toru will get will be preaches. It was a sin—nasty, and inappropriate, as the culture said; a man need to be with a woman. He was outspoken about women, indeed, but it was to hide his insecurities, for him who was interested in both genders.  
  
Like Tyler, he was bisexual. Unlike Tyler, he could never admit it. For their fans. Was he even a human being and in a rock band to begin with?  
  
"We've talk about this, right?" The baritone voice sounded hoarse. Toru hid his yawn behind the back of his right hand while he handed back the phone to him. The blond wiped his face with his palm, trying to stay awake with him bringing up the trouble. "She's Dan's sister and Justin's girlfriend. Just a friend like Dan and Justin."  
  
Taka raised his brow. "Really?" He took his phone and picked one post, the reposted one from her snapchat. "See this?" He raised his phone to his boyfriend's eye level, showing the snapchat post with Toru and her using the llama filter. "Two shitty llamas!" Taka barked and start his blabbering, leaving no chance for Toru to interrupt him. "Then, look at this one," he showed another post of her snapchat, the one of their feet—Toru and that woman's foot—side by side with a pair of sandals, one wore by Toru and one by that woman. 'Sharing is Caring' was captioned. "Sharing sandals, huh? How romantic?" He snorted. "Do you want to see the comments, Toru-san? How people said you two are cute together?" Taka breathed harshly, his brows nearly meeting, and his eyes glistened as he felt sting of tears in the corner of his eyes.  
  
"FUCK! FUCK!"  
  
His emotions overflowed.  
  
Anger. Sadness. Exhaustion. But the one that ruled above them all was fear. He was scared—scared that Toru would leave him, fall in love with a woman that society will accept. Scared that Toru will, ultimately, become too tired of his insecurities that drove him even more greedy and needy. And he was scared that those eyes wouldn't look at him anymore, those lips would never again touched his lips, words from that mouth will no longer be for him, and he will never see Toru smiling at him again. Toru is his boyfriend but he couldn't even tell the world Toru is his. Yet a woman acted like Toru was hers.  
  
"What should I do, Toru-san?" He was envious. Jealous. Hurt.  
  
Their gazes met. Toru's dark irises gleamed gently. Being tired, Toru looked even older than usual. "I've done nothing with her." His boyfriend explained, "I feel nothing about her. And that sandal? She wore it when I accidentally took it off." Taka bit the inside of his lower lip. He tightened his grip on his phone. Tiredness overcame him. It had been two days since he started feeling like this. Since the morning he saw Toru happily interacting with a girl who was their fan, and now this woman, Dan's sister.  
  
Since the thought of how Toru would be better standing beside a woman dominated him.  
  
"Do you believe in me, Taka?"  
  
Silence replaced the soft baritone voice that previously vibrated his ears. Taka frowned, their eyes locked into each other. "Do you think I don't believe in you, Toru-san?" How shaky was his voice? When he tried to speak normally, his emotions flew all over the place. Was his control over the tears that threatened to spill out as bad as his control over his emotions?  
  
Taka let out a small sigh, he smiling wearily, "I do believe in you." That was the truth, there was no doubt what he felt toward Toru. He would always believe in Toru, everything Toru said or did—everything. "But," Taka paused as he chuckled quietly to himself as if there was something funny he wanted to say, "I don't believe them." His bitter smile grew. That was right. He didn't believe in those women that tried to get closer to Toru. Either that fangirl or even Dan's sister. He didn't believe in any of them.  
  
Yet, Toru was too kind. And Toru's kindness made him afraid those women would take advantage of his boyfriend. Like he did towards Toru, as he gradually realised, how bad his addiction was towards a guy named Yamashita Toru.  
  
"I'm gonna sleep in Tomoya's bedroom." Taka bowed his head, running away from seeing his boyfriend's expression. "Sorry," he muttered. His palm tapped his neck and then he clicked his heels, with the destination of the guest room their drummer used. Tomoya's girlfriend already went home to Japan last night. "Oh." Taka stopped when he felt Toru's grasp on his slender arm. He turned around. In a blink, Toru's lips met his tenderly. Warmth spread to his cheeks, to his chest. It was a simple kiss. The two lips only met gently before parting away, however, it felt as if—as if his insecurities were gradually being taken away. In the end he knew, whatever he did, Toru would always forgive him.  
  
"Goodnight." Toru whispered, ending the night.

 

* * *

 

Hollywood Palladium, Los Angeles.  
  
The venue ONE OK ROCK used for today's gig that finished a few hours ago—with him performing quite awfully at some parts of the first few songs. Taka noticed how he couldn't reach several high notes and missed the timings to enter songs. He also won't deny that his voice was shaky, like he was in near tears. Funny thing was going to happen if he cried during Bedroom Warfare. Good thing it wasn't for too long before he could finally find his balance again.  
  
Afterwards, he felt the adrenaline rush in his veins. His pulse beat faster, colliding with the sounds ONE OK ROCK's instrumentalists played and the voices of their audience singing along with him and their screams. His eyes were filled with the view of them banging their heads, following the beat of the music ONE OK ROCK played. Their hands punched and slapped the air and there were some dots of light festooned the audience's area, coming from phones and cameras they held to make that moment eternal.  
  
This morning he did his interview with Rob well. He behaved nice during the meet and greet even with the fact that that Japanese fangirl came again.

Toru and him, they didn't share another kiss after last night. In fact, besides when they were entertaining their friends that came today, such as members of legendary band Good Charlotte which he loved and adored so much, Toru and him didn't really talk much. Not because Toru was mad at him like two days ago, it was him who eschewed himself from Toru because he didn't know what should he talk about with him. Only little bits of casual talk and it was over. Ryota questioned him if they had another fight and he just shooed their bassist away.

"Here you go."  
  
Taka glanced towards a guy who handed him a phone. His phone. "Thanks Jamil," he said to the guy that some people called his assistant. Taka sat down on the sofa, his eyes focused on the phone screen. Two one-minute long videos—cuts from a long video taken by their documentary staff. Taka leaned his back against the sofa, focusing on the first video he played. It showed the situation during their live, the audience and them, ONE OK ROCK. Though, clear enough, most moment recorded was where the camera panned at Toru. Obviously at how it had a sequence where Toru shied away from the camera recorded him. Successfully brought smile to Taka's face. The video was over, he played the second one. Same situation, but he chuckled when he saw how stupid the way he walked toward Toru, doing little skips like he was a 10 years old.  
  
Taka posted the videos, along side several photos they took this day. He captioned the videos with the usual word of gratitude and promise to come back. In fact, he posted those as a way for him to have Toru again on his Instagram.  
  
"I'm going out for a while." He told Jamil. There was still 15 minutes before the bus departed to bring them to the next venue, San Francisco.  
  
Taka rose from his seat, moved towards the door and got off from the tour bus. The cold breeze of January gently caressed his cheeks. His gaze fell at the shoulder that peeked out from the rear end of the bus. Trails of smoke raising from the cigarette clamped between two fingers. The fan from two days ago that stood there clearly told him who was leaning his back against the bus. Like two days ago, he approached them. There was no smile drawn on his face. Taka wrapped his slender fingers around the wrist of the guy that now had him in his gaze.  
  
"Let's go inside, Toru-san." Because no, he won't share his addiction of Toru to anyone else.  
  
Yamashita Toru is his. _Only his._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To waifu and Eri; Please don't hurt Toru. XD 
> 
> With this what left will be only the Epilogue and I am so happy. :"D
> 
> Thank you for reading, kudos, comments and everything. Please enjoy my other Toru x Taka work too, titled We Are.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is took so long to write (I did rewrite a lot too) and checked. I used a grammar checker site, so I hope the grammar would look nice. Beta reader on this chapter is only my wife.
> 
> I didn't really understand with a song, and used wikipedia to help me write.
> 
> This chapter will be longer than the previous one. I hope you will enjoy this, the last chapter of Addicted to Your Sweetness.

"What happened to you?"

Both of them still standing face to face on the doorway of his hotel room and his hands holding the door's knob. He stood on the bedroom's side and Toru on the corridor. No one walked in the corridor as the clock he glanced at―before he opened the door after Toru knocked it twice―showed it was 3 in the morning.

"Nothing," he looked away from his boyfriend's gaze.

"Nothing?," Toru turned his answer into a skeptical question. "We need to talk, Taka."

Taka could guess what Toru wanted to talk about and he wasn't in the mood for it. There were still tomorrow and the day after, they could talk when they back in Japan too―but, no, not now.

"I'm tired now, I want to sleep." Slowly he closed the door while looking at his own feet. The strong power held him from closing the door made him raised his head. His brows nearly met and his eyes gleamed in frustration. "Toru-san, please," bitterly he begged at his boyfriend.

He only wanted to rest his tired body for now.

Not only because of the tour itself, he felt he was physically and mentally deteriorated, but also with what happened during this entire week. Even at the last gig of ONE OK ROCK's North American Tour. The Showbox, Seattle.

Yes, it'd been an usual view to see some fans already queuing even when the meet and greet was still hours to go, and more for the show. He understood that until these fans not only gathered outside the venue, but also waited for their bus to park and finally for them to go down from the bus. They were tired—and stressed—when these fans were busy with taking their pictures like they were rare Pokèmons their drummer always chased.

He tried to compromise with that until he found out their video and pictures were taken secretly. Someone waited at the intersection, that was why the video and pictures showed them on the crossroad. The video was of Christian and him and though it was annoying it wasn't a matter compared to the pictures. Those pictures made him suddenly felt angry and anxious, especially since it spread on the Instagram.

In those pictures were Ryota and his wife, also Toru who accompanied the newlywed. The first thing came into his mind was, what if these fans found out about Michelle, Ryota's wife? Then she got attacked on Instagram by these fans like what happened to his friend because people thought they were dating―they aren't. No one beside their close circle of friends knew already about Ryota's marriage nor the fact that their bassist had ended his relationship with his then-girlfriend.

Really, was giving them personal spaces was too much to ask? Yet, they were never an idol to begin with. They are rock band―

―and also humans.

"We need to talk," Toru repeated.

Taka knew his boyfriend could be more stubborn than him when the guy wanted to do or needed something. "Can't we wait until the morning?" Since he really doesn't want to talk about this now.

His eyes interlocked with the blond's. It busy judged him thoroughly, as if the owner already understands what will happen tomorrow. That he will give another excuse and ran away.

Taka clicked his tongue. He would never win against Toru if the guy being stubborn. Shit.

"Okay, okay."

He turned his back and walked away from the door to approach the bed where he lied his ass on. Toru followed after the guy locked the door of his hotel room―they always sleeping in different room even when they aren't arguing. Since only the band's manager beside the members that knew Toru and he were a lover among the band. Whether they will sleep in a same room after, it was up to them to decide.

"You don't want to sit?," he asked the guy who opted to stand in front of him. There was no answer. "Okay, then," Taka paused, "is it about my post on Instagram?"

He posted a blank picture with a long statement on the caption. He wrote what he felt: how those fans waited for them with phone on their hands busily taking their picture; how he couldn't breathe or enjoying his meal and how he felt the same atmosphere as in Japan when they performed, since most of the audience in the front row were Japanese when in fact they were performed in America. 

If it were like this, how could they make their dream comes true? How could the locals enjoys their lives if the front row were taken by the fans from their home? When they were in the States, he wanted to give the chance for the locals that rarely had a chance to meet and watch ONE OK ROCK. Was it too hard to be understood?

His post, then gained a lot of comments, because it felt like he blamed all the Japanese fans and not being grateful.

"I already cleared it off." In a comment he then posted: he didn't blame every Japanese fan that attended, but some of the fans were like that—taking their pictures secretly and filled the front row. Was it still only him that wrong?

"So, yeah," he shrugged, "you don't have to worry."

Taka massaged the back of his neck. A pair of feet wearing hotel sandals was reflected in his irises―Toru's feet. The brown sweatpants the guitarist wore, Taka remembered, he was the one who bought it for his boyfriend because he thought it will look cute if Toru wore it. He also bought one for him, but it was grey and he wore a black training currently. Weakly his arms fell between his thighs. He played with his fingers while waiting for anything Toru wanted to say.

"What happened to you, Takahiro?," a question that slipped away from the guitarist's mouth made him raised his brow. His eyes ran away from Toru's stare as it made his shoulders cold. Taka scratched his left arm and looked at their feet. Still wondering whether he should answer that question or just keep quiet. He then heard his boyfriend exhaled his breath sharply. 

"I really don't understand."

Taka lifted his head to find his boyfriend folded his arms on his chest.

"Do you start to feel tired of me?"

"Huh?," Toru frowned. "What do you mean by that?," the guitarist raised his brow and his eyes gleamed in confusion.

It didn't like he didn't realised it at all―his fault.

"You understand that, Leader-sama.", he laughed at himself.

All the fuss he made in these past days made him looked really pathetic, right? Toru might forgive him over and over again, but, he realised how everyone had their own limit. It doesn't make him, surprised if Toru is tired of him after what happened. 

He acted like a kid with the insecurities he felt since he saw Ryota and Michelle on the altar. That time he thought: ah, so something like this right? That people wanted to see. Man and woman tied their promise to spend the rest of their lives together. People that see it would straightly think: Oh, beautiful. It made him glance at Toru and thought: What if, it was two men standing side by side on the altar―if it was Toru and him?

His anxiousness reached its limit when he saw those women getting closer to Toru. Will he lose to them since he is a male?

"I hurt you. I mad at you."

Tonight he posted that statement on Instagram. He posted it without discussing it first with their manager or Toru, the leader of ONE OK ROCK. He did it on his own decision and weighed it to the band. With all that, he won't be surprised if Toru gets tired of him.

Ah. Shit.

Taka ruffled his hair. He bowed down to hide his face—his expression—, so, Toru didn't need to pity him because he was on the verge of tears.

"Do you think, I feel tired of you?"

Taka nodded his shoulders and shook his head. "I don't know..," he paused, ".. maybe." His words shaken.

In fact, he also felt tired of him. Tired of the feelings that took over him.

When he saw Toru smiled and talked to a fan―a woman, he started to be afraid. The greediness he felt was like a maggot that slowly ate him—carved a huge hole in his chest. What if this? And what if that?, those kind of questions jumped here and there inside his head. Made him failed to think clearly.

"Then?" The soft baritone echoed in his ears.

He bit his underlip. His left leg moved restlessly—up and down. Taka lifted his head; deeply frowned. His chest thumped in the most uncomfortable pace—made him suffocated. He hated a situation like this, he hated being in pain.

"I thought that you will leave me," Taka rose from his seat and walked closer to his boyfriend. He clutched the shoulders of the black t-shirt Toru wore tightly until he could feel the tip of his nails on his skin. 

"I kept thinking about that," he continued. Their nose grazed and Toru's warm breath tickled his cheeks. "When I saw you smiling towards that fan and when I saw the pictures and videos of you and that woman," he breathed heavily as if the air around them decreasing, "I thought to myself: what if you fall for them? What if you leave me for them?"

Toru wrapped his fingers around his wrists. Their eyes interlocked; refusing to look away from each other. "Do you not believe in me?" 

"I believe in you," he clenched his jaw, "but we never know about love, Toru-san." He paused. "Like when we fell for each other."

That's right.

They would never know what would happen to them in the future in this situation. In this culture that would deny his addiction towards a guy, with him being a guy. "We couldn't date freely and our manager told me I need to stop posting your picture." He also could never tell the world that Yamashita Toru is his lover. "People would never cheer at us like they did to Ryota if I tell them we are lovers." With these kind of situations how long will they last?

His clutch weakened as tiredness overcame him. "When we stay like this," he cupped Toru's cheek, tenderly his thumbs caressed it, "and people around us cheering you with a woman." Someone that will be accepted by the society. 

".. I think.. mmf—"

Taka closed his eyes tightly. His words were cut short by a pair of lips that scooped his.

"Shut up," Toru murmured, and they kissed again.

Together they fell into the bed. He grimaced between their kisses, feeling the pain on his back. But he was too busy with their kiss to grimace more. Their kiss was brutal and harsh, a contradict of Toru's powerful yet gentle guitar play. And it was the intro of their forgotten song.

Trembling, Taka clutched his fingers at the chest of his boyfriend's t-shirt. Sparks of flame took over himself. The deeper their kisses, the more his head getting dizzy. A harsh intro of the forgotten song they played reached the breakdown, with the sound of rustling fabrics and creaking bed colliding into each other.

Toru's moist lips impatiently touched his bare skin―neck, collarbone, chest―and it became the first verse. The movement of Toru's fingers on his stomach was as luscious and delicious as when it moved between the strings adorned the guitar's fret board.

"Toru..." 

His moans and pleading were the repeated chorus of their song alongside Toru's groans and grunting.

One and then two―a poetic stanza before Toru filled the loneliness surrounding him since the beginning of the tour. He became wet. Within the pain, there was pleasure as they immersed into one—moving at the same rhymes of the verse. Perhaps it sounded different, but it is still their song.

Their ambitions.

An agonizing song that made him addicted.

His boyfriend's skin slapped his was the bass sound that linked their harmony together, making the dry beat of their thumped pulses warmth.

".. Toru.. slower," Taka whimpered as he reached his boyfriend's neck, pulling Toru closer to him and buried his face in the crook of Toru's shoulder. Drowned himself within the soap and sweat scent of Yamashita Toru. What was it called? The scent of Toru in their song? Taka closed his eyes, made their melodies played more clearly in his ears.

"Can't, Takahiro."

The addictive succulent melodies.

Reaching for the last verse their song intensed. The drums beat, the bass, the guitar, the moaning, the pleading and the blaze.

Toru's sweaty palms felt hot on his cheeks. The guitarist's kissed his lips, bit it. Ruining the chorus he sang. On his cloudy sight Toru's face looked restless. Those pair of irises, tenderly reflected him. "I won't do that," the blond whispered before nibbled his upperlip. The guy frowned.

"I won't leave you."

Toru is always sweet.

"Toru," Gently Taka wrapped his fingers around his boyfriend's wrists, ".. I  love you."

This love.

Was it wrong when it made him being greedy over you?

"That's why, " his breathless words were like a fade out outro. Their temple met, Toru's blond strands tickled his cheek. Taka swallowed his saliva. His eyes moistened, when tears adorned the corner of his almond shaped eyes. Tears that he had been holding all this week, as he was being too afraid to tell Toru that he was jealous. Towards the fan, towards the guy's friend. All he wanted was only having Toru for himself and he was afraid it was too much to ask.

".. I became like this."

Because he loves Toru. He loves Yamashita Toru.

The sweetest and cruelest addiction, he ever had.

Taka trailed the blond strands, tucked the bangs behind the guitarist's ear. "These eyes," Toru hid his irises behind his lids when his thumbs caressed the corner of his boyfriend's eyes. It always looked sleepy, if you don't pay closely at the dark irises, perhaps you will never know what the owner of this bedroom eyes ever felt. ".. I want these to only look at me." Whether the owner felt happy or tired, it always seemed sleepy. And he always loves how Toru's irises reflected him there, tenderly. Or how these irises showed passions that could captivate you; making you gave away your enamored soul with all the pleasure.

His thumb traveled down Toru's sharp jaw line down to the guy's chin and up to the ripe lips. Carefully his thumb massaged his boyfriend's underlip, feeling the velvety against his sense. "These too only for me." Their lips softly met. ".. Words," Toru's warm breath tickled his skin. His thumb touched one corner of Toru's lip's line, followed by the other, he then curved the line. ".. Smile.."

Taka cupped his hands on his boyfriend's cheeks, frowned. "Were it.. too much to ask..?"

Was he too greedy if he asked for those?

"Takahiro, I'm sorry."

Toru clasped their fingers, holding his hands against the bed. The fast movement the blond made turned his fade out coda into the harsh and brutal one, just like its intro. Rocked him all the way inside and swept him away from the sanity. Made his pleasure jumped like they did on the stage.

And the song was over.

But, it will always be replayed, again and again.

 

* * *

 

Toru leaned on his side beside him. Taka brought himself closer to Toru, and rested inside Toru's arm with his head laid on the guitarist's firm bicep. He was still weak and tired, but he felt he slowly loose the burdens of these past days from his shoulders. His boyfriend's mellow lips sweetly rained him with kisses―to his temple, top of his nose and lips. Down to his chin and jaw. He closed his eyes as Toru licked the corner of his right eye, wiping away tears that still adorned it.

"That girl," Toru opened, "I mean, the fan, she was from Osaka."

"So?"

Toru tightened his embrace, "That's why I said you won't understand.", and land him another kiss on his forehead.

"Why?," his brow raised.

"Ha? Because it was Osaka of course."

Taka sat up, his brows nearly met when he gave his Kansai boyfriend a long stare. Somehow something about this doesn't meet his scenario. "Why she smiled shyly?," he asked again, tried to reconnect everything that seemed wrong in a sudden. Especially when Toru frowned with his eyes stared at him in confusion.

"Did she?," and that response wasn't a help.

"Okay," Taka wrapped his hands in front of his chest. "Then, why she came to every of our gigs? Why both of you met after that too?"

Low laughs escaped Toru's mouth before he exhaled a heavy breathe and sat beside him. The blond's big palm felt sweaty and warm on his cheek. "Why can't she?", Lovingly his boyfriend combed his disheveled raven hair back. "I think it's ok, she flew from Japan for us," Toru shrugged, "and this is the only time she could meet us and watched us that close."

"And taking the local fan's chance?"

For a moment they paused. Toru gently patted and caressed his shoulder. "We could talk to our tour manager later, no fan allowed to buy a VIP ticket more than two dates, if you want." The guitarist pulled him closer to his embrace. Taka sighed, and leaned his head to his boyfriend's shoulder. "Aren't you thinking too much?"

"Probably," he nodded his shoulders.

"You will explode."

Taka snorted, "Already."

The not-so-quiet room was now echoed heavy laughs of his boyfriend's. He could hear Toru sniffed. "Seriously, talk to me first before you are posting anything. It's been three times." And the guy showed him three fingers to affirm what he said. "Three times, Takahiro." Annoying.

Taka distanced himself from his boyfriend and he gave the other three fingers too. "Also, how many times you met that fan after our shows." Chicago, Los Angeles, Seat―"Two," Toru took down his middle finger. "I didn't meet her today and I talked to her because she approached me, nothing more."

Just a fan and a member of a band the fan idolized. Nothing more.

"Then, why you looked happy when you talked to her, Toru-san?" The smile that adorned the guy's face when talked to that fan, it looked as if his boyfriend was so happy talking with her. How those eyes sparkled in enthusiasm when usually it looked sleepy.

"Did I?" Or perhaps, that was only because he over think anything.

"I don't know," Taka shook his head. "I saw you like that and you two talked too long." It was two fans for him and for Toru it was only her. That was when the thought that Toru may be interested in her slowly creeped him. Then it made him remember about all the thought he had. The conclusion he made on his own.

"She's a fan and nothing more."  He looked deeply into the blond's irises as the guy talking. Toru would never lie to him. "Maybe we talked too long and I looked like that because we were from Osa—" Immediately he placed his palm on Toru's lips. About that fan, it was okay. There was no need for Toru to keep explaining everything at him. He was over thinking everything. And he didn't want Toru to be the one who in fault about her.

"I understand." No more explanation about that fan. That woman was only a fan and nothing more. Perhaps she was interested in Toru, like their fans did to them—that wasn't a problem.

Over and over since Ryota's marriage, he thought what if Toru chose a woman over him. The thought of that consumed him and it overflowed when he saw Toru's videos and pictures with Dan's sister. Made him couldn't hold the overflowed feeling any longer. And then he saw those comments. Fans called Toru and her cute together―he disliked it too much that hated it.

"Also don't get too close to her."  His palm traced down Toru's neck, down to the guitarist's chest. The thuds his boyfriend's made were like a beautiful melody he would listen over and over. He could sing to it. He could make a song from it.

"The fan?" Taka gave Toru a shook as his answer towards the question—and a long 'ah', then escaped the blond's mouth. " _Her_?"

This time, he nodded.

"I didn't read the caption, we just took pictures and videos, that's all I know." Toru's thumb tenderly caressed his shoulder, followed by a soft peck to his crown. "And that sandal, I didn't know she took it neither the caption."

Taka lowered his head and exhaled softly. "I see." So it was her who did everything. Sometimes, despite the fact she already had someone's else as her boyfriend, he felt she too interested in Toru. It made him hardly liked her, nor that he really closed to her boyfriend or brother like Toru did.

"Make sure to be careful next time." He didn't want to see anything like that anymore. Cute together his ass, there is no one beside him that could look cute together with Toru.

Carefully Toru guided him to sit on the guitarist's lap, face to face, with Toru's arms enveloped his hips. Taka chuckled. "It's weird sitting like this with no one of us wearing underwear," his smile grew widely—cheek to cheek, until it hurts, after a kiss was stolen by Toru from him. "A shortcut to the second round," and here we go, Toru's pervert words. That never rarely heard outside the moment they were together. Well, he won't be amused if Toru said it other than to and with him.

Their forehead met like Toru's palms met his cheeks. Spreading the warmth all over him and fully filled his chest nicely. Warmth, so warm. He loves it.

"I'm sorry."

Taka grimaced. "Nah _, I'm_ sorry _."_

It wasn't fully Toru's fault in the first place. It was his too. He was the one who made the most fault. But, hey, it's okay now. So, let's forget about that.

"Takahiro, I love you."

The tender gazes Toru gave to him, made him forget how to breath for seconds. He ran away from the gaze and immediately embraced Toru's neck—buried his face in the crook of his boyfriend's neck.

"I love you too." 

To the point it made him addicted. To the point of no return.

Taka murmured. "Do you think people will say we look cute together?"

"Huh?," Toru chuckled. "What's with that?"

"Just answer it."

Toru leaned forwards. Skin met skin. Taka quivered when his boyfriend's fingers traveled his neck down to his back before, again, Toru hugged his hips tight. Being too close like this made him easily felt the thumps on Toru's chest, finding how their pulses beating together at the same rhyme. He loves the harmony their pulses made. If they kept being like this, maybe he will fall asleep like this—sitting like a baby, on his bare skin, with Toru's shoulder became his relax pillow. Toru's shoulders were better than his expensive relax pillow.

"No."

"What?," however, the displeasing answer Toru gave him, nearly made him re-scored relax pillow higher than his boyfriend's shoulders.

"We will look cool and hot together."

Shit. Did his cheeks turn into a cobalt now? "Toru-san.."

"Hm?"

Without further blabbering Taka pressed his lips against his boyfriend's. Their kiss wasn't simple nor harsh. It was full of passion that sparked the warmth blanketed their bodies into heat. Gently he pushed the blond to lean down. Their lips still joined with their tongue twirled, curled and danced. Even when their lungs screamed for air, they still didn't stop until they were out of it.

Taka closed his eyes. In between his breathless panting he asked, "Is it okay if I'm being greedy about you, Toru-san?" He greeted his boyfriend's touch on his cheeks by wrapping his slender fingers around the wrist. When he stopped hiding his dark yet clear irises Toru's loving smile was reflected.

"Always."

Toru reached for his right hand, wrapped his slender fingers around its knuckle. Just like what a prince did to a princ—to a prince! With a kiss Toru planted on his ring finger. Somehow, he really became stupid because he didn't remember anymore how to stop smiling.

"Then," playfully Taka bit his underlip. Their faces were too close to each other that the tip of their noses met and grazed. "Now, look at me, talk to me, smile at me."

 

Made him more and more addicted to your sweetness, Yamashita Toru.

 

" _Only me, Toru-san_."

 

 

* * *

Addicted to Your Sweetness

Fin

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hokucimo on instagram drew a scene from this chapter :_  
>  https://www.instagram.com/p/BWRErYmFZwY/ (a safe version) thank you so much)
> 
>  
> 
> •••
> 
> With this, I finished my first English fanfic ever. To be honest this is started as a valentine project on the cult with the other making fanart and Steph, Eri and I writing fanfic. :"D
> 
> I hope the ending satisfy enough for this story with simple plot.
> 
> I thank you to those who helped me until the end. My wife, Sou; Eri; Rin; Desa; and Julia. Also Steph and Kuma. Also I thank you so much for you who read this and kindly leaving me kudos. I really appreciated it and in fact, it really made me happy. Thank you for pardoning my amateur skill in writing in English too.
> 
> See you in the next work! :")
> 
> *Currently my chaptered fic is : We Are (ABO Dynamic)*
> 
> If you interested in talking with me I'm on instagram : @zen.ldh.oor


	6. Chinese Version

**Chinese Version**

 

A friend of mine kindly asked to translate my works (Addicted to Your Sweetness - Ano Hi, Ano Basho, Ano Hanashi short stories) to her lofter, if you prefer to read the chinese translations of Addicted to Your Sweetness you can find it here:

_ Note: I open it just find on browser, but some probably needs to use app and registered. _

** Translation by sk10969.lofter.com / ig: skron10969 **

• [Chapter 1](http://sk10969.lofter.com/post/1e8dc7ee_11c75d78)

• [Chapter 2](http://sk10969.lofter.com/post/1e8dc7ee_11c75d7c)

• [Chapter 3](http://sk10969.lofter.com/post/1e8dc7ee_11c9f3aa)

• [Chapter 4](http://sk10969.lofter.com/post/1e8dc7ee_11c9f3ae)

• [Chapter 5](http://sk10969.lofter.com/post/1e8dc7ee_11cc58c4)

 

I'll add the link of each short stories in the summary of each.

 

Thank you very much for kindly asking really. ＼(;´□｀)/


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